This post was updated on 13/05/21
“Comparison is the thief of joy”
It is completely normal to wonder how we compare to other people. Part of our basic desire to understand ourselves and our place in the social world. This was really important when we lived in caves and as part of tribes, as we needed to know where we stood. If everyone was trying to lead the tribe there would be lots of fighting and not a lot surviving! We’re not in survival mode anymore, but that still exists within us and is often triggered by our thoughts.
If self-worth and self-confidence are low, we are more likely to compare ourselves to others. We each have a unique path to follow and there’s plenty of room for all of us
Say thank you instead of sorry
Think back to the last time someone paid you a compliment, how did you react? Disagree or laugh it off? I’ve heard some people even point out their own flaws as a reply! If someone is complimenting you, learn to accept it is because they genuinely approve of your new skirt or like that report you produced, or whatever it is. Practice just saying “thank you” and owning it!
Choose Progress over Perfection
This is one of my values and one I’m so pleased about. Living a life where you are aiming for perfection can be exhausting and miserable. What’s more, it is an unrealistic way of trying to live your life.
Watch Your Self-Talk
Another way to boost your confidence is to use positive and motivational self-talk. Our brain is hard-wired to be negative and this includes our self-talk. This negativity bias causes the brain to overact to critical words. Your thoughts become your words, which in turn become your feelings and then actions. This is why your words affect your emotions, motivation and what you think you are capable of achieving. So the solution is to be more mindful of the words you use.
Psychology Today states the way you talk to yourself is the way you love yourself—your self-talk shapes your identity. Be kind yourself and use the language you would to your best friends. The quality of your self-talk is critical. Positive words generate positive benefits.
Celebrate your Wins
We celebrate the big things in life, getting married, new car. How about celebrating the small wins. Examples of small wins could be drinking enough water-a constant goal of mine, or having a productive work day. These small wins are essential for learning to shine, as they provide joy and motivation. Train your brain to see the good in every day, by celebrating the small things. It will then look for more opportunities and see more good in your life. One way to do this is through journaling. At the end of each day (or week), reflect on what has gone well, what you’ve achieved from your goal list. Then reward yourself and celebrate what you’ve achieved. (Mine’s a G&T please)
Affirmations a great for a confidence boost and are often used to help you reach your goals. They can help you deal with negative feelings about yourself and take positive action. When you repeat an affirmation, it begins to seep into your brain that those affirmations might be true, so it helps to gradually chase away your negativity. This is something that takes continual practice and you might decide to make this part of your morning routine, before your brain has had a chance to be filled with anything else!
Use a Planner and Create an Action Plan
I saw this quote that said “anything is possible for those with a dream, a plan, and the determination to make it happen…no matter what. This applies to anything that you want to achieve in life. It also applies specifically if you want to create an action plan to boost your confidence. You could write down what you’d like to change as a goal and how you’re going to achieve it (the tasks).
Dress the Part
Another way to boost your confidence, is to pay attention to the way you dress. Wear clothes that feel comfortable and make you feel good. You will always look more confident when you’re not constantly pulling your top down or jeans up! It is only one factor, but when you dress the part you feel the part. I know if I have a particular event that I’m going to and I want to feel my best I always choose an outfit I feel confident in. Three tips for this are
- Know your body shape and dress to flatter it
- Know your personal style and don’t be afraid to communicate that
- Consider the occasion and dress appropriately for the venue and event.
Visualise your Success
This is a great way to get clear on what the confident you looks like. Muhammad Ali, Jim Carrey, Sarah Blakely, and Tiger Woods all famously saw their goals achieved years before they arrived. So how would this concept work? By being able to get crystal clear on what success looks like to you, it becomes more obtainable and something you feel able to reach for. When you remind yourself every day of your true goals are, you focus more on the things you really want to achieve. Your brain is then programmed to be more receptive to possible opportunities that are aligned with your goal.
Look for Inspiration
Inspiration is all around you and can take many forms. It’s important to use what works for you and that could be a combination of things. A popular method is motivational or inspirational quotes. You might wish to set up a Pinterest board with your favourites and review it when you need to boost your confidence.
As long as you keep going, you’ll keep getting better. And as you get better, you gain more confidence. That alone is success.
Some other examples of inspirations include following (as in on social media!!) people that inspire you, reading inspiring books and investing in a course.
Boost your Confidence with Affirmations
If you were reading through those points and thinking you’d like to learn more, then the Affirmations for a Positive Mindset guide is just for you. The Affirmations for a Positive Mindset guide is a handy printable to help with your self-talk. You can get started today with boosting your confidence and shining that little brighter.