How to Take Control and Grow in Confidence

This post was updated on 07/01/20

Have you seen what’s on the blog so far this month? There’s a blog post on 7 signs you need a confidence boost and a free checklist with 10 ways to boost your confidence and How to Start your Day with More Confidence – also with a free checklist.

So have you identified that you have low confidence? First, I want to reassure you that having low confidence is absolutely fine, you’re not alone. Dove’s Global Beauty and Confidence report found that British women have the second lowest self-esteem in the world. The big difference is you are being courageous enough to do something about it. I love that!

I’m not telling you it will be easy, I’m telling you it will be worth it.

What is Confidence?

Confidence is believing in yourself and knowing you have worth. You show up in the world as the best version of yourself and don’t expect perfect because let’s be honest; perfection doesn’t exist. You can celebrate your strengths and recognise areas for improvement. As a confident person, you radiate happiness and you live unapologetically.

My own confidence has taken a few knocks. My life used to look quite different to how it is now; my confidence was low, I struggled to set goals and I was drifting. I wasn’t happy at all and actually due to certain circumstances and my health, I was then signed off work with depression.

When that happens, the only way is up and I spent my time either resting or on personal development. I developed a mission statement, set of values, goals and rituals that I live my life by. I came out the other side and I got my shine back.

Confidence, or lack of, affects so many aspects of your life. The way forward is to take control and grow in confidence.

Make a choice

This is probably the easiest to say and the hardest to do. However any change involves a choice. A choice that you want to live a life where you feel more in control and live life with intention. This is often the first step and you don’t have to have it all figured out. It is more about making a choice or decision that you want your life to be different.

After I’d recovered from my exhaustion-in the main-and was able to make decisions I really thought about what I wanted. Did I want to carry on feeling sorry for myself and feel like life was happening to me, or did I want to take control of my life where I could and live

Realising there’s No Magic Switch

You may decide you want to be confident. Don’t be disheartened if it doesn’t happen overnight. It is has taken a while for you to become the person that you are and change can take time, especially if it involves breaking down emotional barriers. Confidence is a skill that you can work on and develop. Stay committed to your goal and you’ll get there.

Start Small

Even if you think the change or learning is really small, just get started. The process of taking action builds our confidence. Once you see yourself succeeding, you begin to realise that you can take control and grow in confidence. Take some time to celebrate every small victory. In a fast paced world, it is all too easy to achieve something and move on. Take some time to raise a glass to you, metaphorically or literally.

Mindset is Absolutely Key

As you are moving to a more confident you and on an ongoing basis, a confident mindset is a daily practice, but it does get easier. Even when those negative thoughts creep in, replace them with positive statements. Quit comparing, focus on your goals and know that you are enough. Have the mindset that you are a positive, confident person and the rest will follow.

Use Support

There’s plenty of room for all of us and in fact you are more likely to be successful if you have the support of others. Facebook groups and online courses where everyone is working towards a common goal can increase your chances of success. When I was working to increase my confidence, I looked to surround myself with like-minded people. I also followed and learnt from people that had built up their confidence skills, including reading their books and joining their courses.