This post was updated on 21/03/23
I hear women say time and time again that they haven’t got time for self-care. So they haven’t got time to look after themselves? In this blog post I’d like to question; is it that they don’t have the time, or is it that they don’t allow the time. Plus also why making the time to care for you is so important. If you’ve ever said that you haven’t got time or that you have other things to do that have to come first, then this is the blog post for you.
I had to learn how important this is, the hard way. I used to live in a state of stress, on high alert and never stopping. And that can be exhausting. Let me teach you the simple but really affective way I added self-care into my day and started loving and appreciating myself. You will honestly wish you started sooner.
In this series, I am going to be teaching you the method I used to go from exhausted and putting myself at the bottom of my to do list… to feeling calm, in control and knowing I’m looking after myself every single day. And feeling good about it. If you’re perhaps feeling overwhelmed that its okay that you’re there. But also know that there is another way of being. And that is exactly what I am going to shine a light on for you through these training sessions.
So if you are feeling like that. know that you are not alone. Perhaps you haven’t noticed it amongst your friends or work colleagues. Perhaps you don’t feel confident to bring up the subject of how you’re feeling because it looks like they’re having a wonderful time, cracking through their to do list and they have life sorted.
Well you can feel safe in the knowledge that you are not alone. As you make changes towards more consistent self-care practices, use the support and accountability of this group. Ask questions, post your updates and cheer on others too. It’s okay not to feel okay. It’s okay to pause but its not okay to stop. It’s about continuing to take small steps. No huge leaps because that will leave you feeling overwhelmed. Just small steps to move you forward, knowing that those small steps add up to big results. That’s the approach I take in here and in my paid courses and programmes.
A Little More About Me
Like many of you, I wear lots of hats; I’m a wife, step-mum I run a house, a blogger, a coach, a friend, daughter and sister. In no particular order you’ll understand!!! So there’s lots going on and I have lots of priorities. I am one of my priorities too but it wasn’t always that way.
I’m going to tell you a little more about that, because you may well relate to it and think that is you right now. The reason I’m doing all of this is because you might be thinking that you know what self-care is but you’re still at a loss to know what to do each day and just can’t seem to know how. I’m here to tell you there is a way
I remember talking to a friend about how a group of us hadn’t met up for ages. She joked with me that’s because I hadn’t organised it. That’s probably true. I’m an organiser, a planner, keeping people together, making sure they’re okay and happy. We can quite often feel that we are the glue that holds everything together. Can you relate to these statements:
- That systems in the house wouldn’t work without you
- That other people wouldn’t get to where they need to, without you
- That there wouldn’t be any dinner on the table without you
- That you need to just keep going because people rely on you
Often we forget that in order to be the best version of ourselves and to give back to others, we have to nourish and care for ourselves first. Not only that, some of what you take on could maybe be done by someone else. But we’ll come on to that another time.
If you’d have met me 6 years ago, you’d have seen how different my life looked. I was in the corporate world in a HR role. I often worked long hours. I remember I had one boss who expected us to be in the office 12 hours a day-that was a regional role! So when I say the office she meant wherever we were working across the country.
I also told myself that the house had to be just so. I had systems in the house-it had to be sparkling clean and ready for visitors at all times. This is as well as helping to bring up two children that were adjusting to having two households.
What you didn’t see was that I didn’t value myself. I didn’t sit down to rest until the house was sparkling, even if I had little energy. Posts have come up on my Facebook memories recently about things I would do late into the evening-last week I read that I was defrosting the freezer …. at10:15pm!!! I had no boundaries, no idea of time blocking or segmenting my day, always people pleasing and doing what I thought I “should” do. Ultimately, I was a perfectionist and really hard on myself.
I guess some of you might be listening to that and thinking yes that’s me, tick, tick. So I know where you are. I was there too. I know how you feel. What I didn’t know, is that I was living in a state of stress, on high alert the majority of the time. And that can be exhausting. In fact. I was diagnosed with exhaustion by the doctor I saw, after I collapsed at a fitness event. He told me to rest….when a doctor tells you, you know it’s serious, right?
When I got to that point, I really needed to listen. I had to slow down, de-stress, be more kind to myself and care for myself. There’s more to my health story, which I can expand on another time. For now, just know self-care and self-development are now my passions. Making positive changes to my life, inspiring and motivating other women to do the same. That’s because of what I’ve been through, the changes I’ve made and how I feel as a result.
You can read more about my story here: About Me
So let’s get into the detail.
It is important to develop an awareness of the impact your lifestyle and mindset has on your wellbeing.
When we are living lives filled with activity, noise, and hurry, it is incredibly difficult to feel healthy and rested. When that is our overall experience with life, the result is that we become stressed and burned out. In order to nurture the health of our mind, body, and soul, we need ways to re-centre and restore. These can be in short spurts throughout the day-some only need to be 5 or 10 minutes long.
Mindset and self-talk are absolutely key. If you tell yourself that you don’t have time for self-care, you are sending a message to your sub-conscious that you don’t have time for yourself, that you are not worthy to spend the time on. What affect do you think that has on your self-worth? How you feel about yourself? Your confidence? Your happiness? That might sound harsh, but its to help change your thinking.
Ok so what do I mean by self-care?
Self-care is any activity that you do for yourself, to protect, maintain, develop, and improve your health and wellbeing.
It is something that nourishes or benefits your mind body or soul in some way. Self-care is anything that inspires you and makes you happy. Think of it like making a deposit in your energy bank.
At the end of the day, it’s about taking care of yourself; whatever that means to you. It is about a wide spectrum of decisions, actions and intentions which involve how we use our time.
I can’t teach you the right way to do self-care for you. But I can teach you the starting point and what worked for me. Then coach and guide you to decide what suits you and your lifestyle.
Hopefully you’ll see from this, that self-care shouldn’t need to be scary or daunting. All we’re talking about, is small changes to your day, that will benefit your mind, body and soul. The more you show yourself love and care, the brighter your days become; the more energy you have; and the happier you will be.
Doesn’t that sound like how you want to live?
Putting yourself to the bottom of your to do list day after day isn’t making you feel good about yourself and you know there’s a better way.
This is for YOU. The woman who spends so much of her time looking after
everyone else but now knows its time for her to feature on her own to do list. To feel calm and balanced. It’s time to enjoy life and shine. Now with mood and gratitude trackers and a 30 day challenge to ignite your self-care routines, follow along with the hashtag.
Download the strategy and get started today.